Grateful Heart and Helping Hands

Thankfulness is being grateful for what we have. It is an attitude of gratitude for learning, loving and being. Appreciate the little things that happen around you and within you every day. Think positively. Thankfulness brings contentment ~ The Virtues Project~ I wrote this on our calendar for the month of February. We have a large family calendar on our fridge- you know the one that is supposed to keep all of us in sync with each other! Each month, I write a virtue for us to cultivate, one to be mindful of all month long. I think that February is often a month where we think of love- but if our hearts are not full of thankfulness, the love will have no room! So today, I am thankful for: The stark beauty of a very cold northern morning. my happy grandson, spreading sunshine and cheer all around employment for my family members a warm home in which to shelter those who live here music to enjoy coffee-sustainable, free-trade coffee that supports a local cause! my personalized t...

My husband goes to church in Australia. The weather is good, the singing is awesome, worship full of life as so many gather together. Our little church here is full of life, music is meaningful and the folks are friendly. But sometimes, just sometimes, we need a little boost in the teaching. We are so very glad to have the internet, where we can go to Hillsong or to People's Church- or even my own brother's church in Winnipeg! This makes the world even smaller than it feels when you are one of the family of God! But on this day, I had two differing messages that told me much of the same thing. Our minister here was talking about how music reaches deep to the soul. The funny thing is, my husband and I were talking about that very thing just before church today. For me, music reaches where often nothing else does. It speaks a language that I understand with my heart. At our little church, we have good music. We have a number of instruments- woodwind and strings- as well as an org...

Sunshine and -13C- one of those perfect northern days! My man and 12 year old have gone skiing today, along with the birthday girl and several friends. The day is like the picture at the header of this blog, where sun is peaking over the mountain, over the eastern shoulder, lighting up my house. It also shows up my fingerprinted windows and dusty floor- but today is Saturday and that is the day I put aside to care for these things! I also have my favourite grandson to myself this morning. He is having a tub right now, so I can sit here outside the bathroom and write while he plays in the tub. He has crayons to write on the tub, balls and blocks to build with and water toys to play with and explore the laws of physics with. Seems that he is a bit sad Mommy has gone skiing, but he also has a bit of a cold, so he is a bit down altogether, poor wee man! We will play together for the morning until he goes to visit Daddy for the rest of this day. His momma has just logged off another year....

Another travel advisory. The roads are wet, the rain is coming down in torrents and ice is crashing off the cliffs beside the highway. My day has been all about running around- thank goodness my little car is up to the task! There are times when days like today feel a bit like the treadmill I wish I wasn't on. I work pretty hard at keeping on top of my repsonsibilities rather than letting them pile up and am not a procrastinator. When I notice myself procrastinating, I need to take stock of things to find out what is overwhelming me. Right now, there are things very far outside of our control but seem to be conquering every day, taking over the day and everything about it, even when we work hard to keep a balance. I like to be somewhat in control of those kinds of things- and wonder when it is we will get some semblance of control back again? Just thinking about it makes me tired. Philippians 4:6 reminds me not to be anxious about anything but to take it all to the Cross- that pra...

The early dawning morning is overcast but clear, with a promise of rain. There are travel advisories on the highways for freezing rain. Freezing rain is one of those conditions that is just difficult to argue with! My grandson is kneeling on the loveseat, looking outside at the dogs and horses he sees out there. He is leaning his head on his arm, waiting patiently for his friend to come. His little buddy is coming for the day today, to be babysat. My busy daughter takes such good care of people- her baby boy, the children she provides nanny services for, her friends' children- whoever has a need that her compassionate heart can meet. She makes me so proud to be her momma. Over the years, I have been eager to watch how my children's character would develop. When they were very little, it was a priority for me. I remember feeling that it was important for them to learn that character was something they could rely on, not looks or 'unchangeables' in their lives, the hand ...

Gratitude, while not spilling out today, is that discipline I am working to cultivate. The other day, I mentioned the plant above my head that was not thriving. I took it down and cut it back, gave it new soil, set it to soak, fed it with good food and put some new shoots from another plat in alongside the green roots of the old plant. I treated it with loving care and kindness! Thinking over the last few days, I realize relationships need this kind of care as well- and I will work on it in my imperfection. Signs of growth a quiet home the strength to do my cleaning- and the desire to! good friends from far away a grandson who insists on hugs before he leaves 12 year old starting the week with confidence and happiness joy in my heart mist moisturizing the earth parents enjoying their extended vacation lifestyle knowing God in the midst of sickness the promise of new life-  in my plants, but more importantly, in lovely mommas waiting on new birth a good phone plan so I c...

This morning provided lots of food for thought through those messengers chosen. Music connected well with words, reaching deep into the heart. Truth seeking, fishers of men, vessels being used willingly in their imperfection. So much encouragement for this imperfect vessel! Teaching through the Gospel Message, Jesus gave us example after example to follow- words, yes, but also action that can be put into effect. Growing deeper into the heart of Our Beloved, we become more and more alike, not unlike couples who have spent many years together, growing more alike in word and deed and even looks. How deep the Fathers love for us, that He would so willingly share His Own Son! Can we help but be drawn in? Quietness is still pervading this home. Quietness borne out of anger and disappointment and fear. The Fathers love draws up deeply and shows us how to do so in kind. I needed that example!

Words that hurt, words that heal. Encouragement. Appreciation. Gratitude. Criticism. Spoken with annoyance. Level of importance. Ability to listen. Anger and harshness. Kindness. Think with your heart. Listening first. Caring. Insistence. I am not so sure how some days are so difficult, some days are so easy. Sickness in the home, sickness in the relationship, sickness is catching. Trying is not always enough. Consistency, constancy, trust and truth. Essential ingredients in domestic peace. Caring, no pettiness, looking past faults with eyes that only love. Remembering that love conquers all and all is worth it. As I sit in my little writing alcove, I look up. I have a very dead plant hanging over my head. I have watered it, cared for it, loved it and fed it. But it is dead. I am not sure why it is dead, but no amount of looking at it, watering or feeding it will revive it. Right now, I need to take the plant down and to see if there is anything salvageable. If there is green near th...

Babies on the mind. My day started with love- my grandson, eggs and cheese, lots of loving and fun. Meeting the midwife in Smithers after years of knowing of her, but not knowing her. How sweet to observe her work with her patient, letting the children help with everything, BP cuff, doppler, all of it.the only thing missing was a camera to capture it all! Lunch with friends, discussing heart felt topics, ones that hold us accountable to who we are at our core, holds the day in place. Getting the call from there that I was needed at a labour put it all into action. That the baby did not come yet is sad for the momma, but the baby needs a bit more time to grow yet, so we are fine with waiting until he is ready to come. I am blessed by conversations in the dark car about how strong this little mommy is, what an amazing woman, smart, thoughtful and considerate, able to raise her children largely on her own and do a very fine job of it. Knowing deep inside how much strength it takes to do s...

Here we are, Thursday!! Whipping through the week, each day moving faster than the one before it- crazy! I have been really enjoying this week, however- it has had most of my favourite elements. Pregnant women, young children, new babies, studying about childbirth and a visit with our daughter's terrific man. After blogging and finishing my coffee, I will head out for another day of work. I just feel so blessed! Once again, I get to spend my day with amazing families, pregnant women, new babies and fantastic co-workers. No complaints, for sure! I also look forward to meeting with the midwife and a client tomorrow- a new phase of this doula journey. We have also had some really tough news this week. Last week, I mentioned a woman of God whom I value and esteem, one who I have known since I was a young girl. We have found out that she has cancer. She has hope and faith- two of the most important elements of a journey with this illness. She is also a woman of prayer, one for whom pra...

Gratitude- the reason for this blog, the substance of me! I yearn towards thankfulness, seeing it as a positive aspect of life and one to strive toward. In many areas of my life, I have missed being thankful, instead turning toward criticism and thoughtless comments. I grew up in this kind of place, one where striving toward excellence meant never giving a person credit for something well done, but instead criticising, hoping to produce a finer quality. I see how this has a positive effect in some ways, never making one satisified with status quo but making one introspective. Overall, the effect for me has been that I am always looking for approval from others. I am still waiting for approval from my parents for things I did 30 years ago- and one thing I know, I want my own children to know when they have done well! My list today is going to reflect that very thing- especially because I know one thing, I am a really good mom, I have done that job well! my hard working son, who looks f...

Where does all the time go? Yesterday was so crazy busy for me- but I loved every minute of it! Sharing my passion with mothers- to- be, some new at the game, some not as new- but excited! There is so much to learn about how our bodies are designed for birth, for creating new life! And how we also are designed to continue to sustain the life created in mystery within us. How cool is that? Even with all there is to learn, we can trust that our bodies will do well what they were designed to do. In all of this, considering how our bodies were designed, wo fearfully and wonderfully, I think again of a lovely woman who is wondering wht her body is doing right now, as she lays in a hospital bed, trusting in doctors to find out for her. She has to trust in medicine, but puts all of her hope in the God Who designed us well- and we will continue to pray for her that this Designer will give wisdom for those who ask. At the same time, there are those whose bodies are busy knitting babies. For t...

Wind like a freight train has been driving itself outside all day long. Arctic outflow they call it. I call it cold! It is -17C plus a huge windchill. Pumping gas in town today, I couldn't believe it- and don't you know, those pumps sure do slow down when it's cold out!  But it is Friday! I spent some time today preparing for the prenatal class tomorrow. My day started with a visit to a lovely little momma I am working with. Lovely too to see her fears calm down and have some great questions answered by a very caring doctor. Once again, I feel blessed to do what I do where I do it! In the mood for birthing and so on, I headed into work to prep for tomorrow's class. My personal preparation for this class has been in the edit process since September- so many new tricks to try, so many new ways to teach, so much to be excited about. Birth, my passion, is taking over!! And I am so happy about that! I have spent some time this week talking with my lovely friend, the one who ...

Thursdays are the busiest day of the week for me. We run our program on Thursdays and today, I think we had about 50-55 for lunch there. That is definitely proof of its success- but at the same time, it is overwhelming from time to time. Today, I missed the morning due to another commitment, so the afternoon felt even more intense! My commitment this morning gave me some understanding of what it is like to feel powerless at a time when truth would unleash that power. Knowing the world sees truth by a measure that is not standardized, it makes me fearful for where our children and grandchildren will find truth, should they ever need it. Truth sets a person free, does not cast someone into bondage. I have, for my whole 50 years, set my store on the biblical standard of truth. Our country was founded on this truth and our laws and governance were set up on it once upon a time. Over the years, we have watched the erosion of this standard- and I am not sure I have done much to stand up for...

It is cold and snowy out. I am so glad I drove to Terrace yesterday and not today! Conditions change so quickly on a day like this- though as I write this, I also realize that those of you in the Lower Mainland and Vancouver Island are having some local blizzard conditions- and at least we are ready for it! Wednesdays are the day I get to visit our local high school to provide a parenting class for students who are also parents or pregnant. We did an exercise today in Positive Thinking, answering a series of questions based on how we feel about ourselves. The young women had some very thoughtful responses and it got me to thinking about how I see me. What do I like about me? We want for our children to feel good about themselves and to see the world from a point of view where they feel loved and valued. What have I done to establish this in my own children? I know I have failed this many times, but once again, am glad to know grace! I really like who my young adults are becoming. My t...

The glorious drive to Terrace encompasses so many of the reasons we live here. In the pastel painted morning sky, the peaks of the Seven Sisters extended well beyond the tree line to afford a stunning view of majesty. The river was deeply encrusted in deep ice, heaving and buckling in places, showing its many layers and the odd peek at the deep green underneath. Ice forming on the cliffs beside us as we sped by was an array of colours- when we thought of ice as white. Our little car was filled with warmth and music as we talked and laughed and surrendered to the glorious sites around us, commenting from time to time as to God's handiwork all around. The 12 year old and I had a nice day together, him missing school and me enjoying time for the two of us. We stopped in to see friends who are looking forward to the wedding of their daughter this summer. The marriage of two who love each other so so much- and are excited to spend the rest of their life together! In December, we celeb...

In gratitude, I will express today's blog: my grandson's merry heart colours! snow crystals in red osier dogwood, looking like prismic diamonds the mountain view (the blog header is our living room view) very good coffee that supports conservation efforts praise and worship music, the sharing of voices and instruments and hearts vintage mukluks keeping my toesies warm at -15C good friends and tea on a sunny afternoon Psalm 139, about being knit together in the secret place, sharing blessings with new mommies my husband who speaks through touch and sharing and closeness work for the son of my heart imagination and a place to use it safe vehicles for all of the travel we do plans for more travel, the careful planning, saving and dreaming my calling, to be a woman's servant, to be a mother to the mother With that, I encourage you to start your own gratitude journal- it makes my week!!

Sunny Saturday. Saturdays, with habits hard to break, are for cleaning, for renewal. We stayed in bed a little late today but awoke to solid daylight showing a new skiff of snow. Sunshine highlights, a machine to clear the snow, helped along by the shovel. Garbage deleted from the house, bathrooms sparkling, kitchen busy with ideas for meals. I love days like this! Sitting here with some Beethoven in quiet contemplation through new speakers, I take the opportunity to meander through the thoughts I have to share today. My family makes me so proud- in a very humbling kind of way! My adult children are living successful lives, each in a satisfying place or moving toward personal satisfaction through schooling or work. I didn't think much about that when we were raising our kids. We thought about values and chose ones that were important to us, to raise our children by. We chose friends who supported those choices. So much of our time was spent in solidifying those choices, driving th...

Amazing. Twenty years ago, who thought a person would sit with a personal computer on their lap, typing while watching TV- or listening to the radio, or sitting in their favourite chair, or all of the above! But these conveniences also give me a huge headache. Having spent the past 26 years taking care of colds, flu bugs, ear aches and other maladies in my children, I have been grateful for our medical system, for the doctors' knowledge and for our health care insurance. Now I deal with viruses and nasty things like that on my computer! They cost big bucks, it is totally another language that I don't understand and I have to trust that the tech knows what to do with my precious machine, the one that holds so much of my information, including this blog! The one who took care of it this time has restored files to me that have been missing since October- this is just awesome! A new inbox set up that makes sense, pictures I thought were lost AND all my email addresses. That has to...

Not sure if I have shared this here, but I love my job. I love my co-workers, love the work I get to do, love the moms I work with, love normal birthing practice, love following my heart and my passion and my calling! We welcomed two new co-workers today and I started in my promoted position. We will seriously miss those who have moved on- but both of them have found very meaningful places to be from here. In the meantime, we will continue to envision our future through those we serve. I was asked to be a doula for another birth, coming soon. That is 3 booked at the moment- how cool is that? I have found that the more I rely on God's showing me what I am to do, the more He provides me with opportunities to serve women this way- and I am the one blessed. My friend has just found out she is to be a grandma for the first time- I told her daughter I wasn't sure who I was more excited for! Babies just are such a miracle, a blessing and a joy!! As I continue to learn more and more a...

Back to school- I do love that phrase! Today, each scattered back into the pattern of work and school. Baby Boy and I had the morning together, stories and giggles, talking up a storm! The afternoon was started by a long drive to Smithers- usually a 45 minute jaunt, made into an hour and twenty minutes by the significant snowfall hovering at 0 temperatures. But my semi-annual oncology appointment was (no surprise to me) all systems go! Hooray!! So, another 6 months of Tamoxifen, good to go. The 3 R's are Penny Simkin's reminder of how a person manages the intensity of labour- with support to find the 3 R's. More of my doula-speak stuff. I am taking time to go through the over 700 pages I have from Lamaze, information to be digested and memorized and understood from a hands-on basis. I am thinking that after I certify with them, I will put together a birthing preparation class for Christian women, based on Psalm 139. let me know what you think!! I want to give glory to the ...

I subscribe to a few blogs, as you can see by my list on the side. None reaches my soul like this one- A Holy Experience. Ann Voskamp writes from her heart, with magical prosaic words that slip into the subconcious mind and replay themselves over and over, all day long. Here is a quote from today, before I post my list of gratitude- E very dawn is Day One. A new beginning. And gratitude is what makes the past a grace, here holy, and tomorrow a gift . family surrounding multiple Christmas blessings a warm home to cuddle in cuddles with those I love a date with my Lover books to read- and the ability to read! meat in the freezer food in the fridge (yes, my date included grocery shopping...) fellowship of believers music! family- sons, daughters and their loved ones, grandchild, sister and brothers, sisters-in-love, spouses and nieces and nephews and greats--Mom and Dad at the helm. having many choices for dinner friends to spend time with a beautiful community the ...

We are well into 2011. The tree is down, cleaned up, put away for another year. Food is largely consumed. Most are looking forward to the return of order and routine. Some are not looking forward to what that routine brings- in terms of early starts and school work. But we feel rested and satisfied with days spent well. We had a chance at church to look back on the year past and reflect, then to look with anticipation to what is ahead. I am seeing a definite pattern to this anticipation. Anticipation holds the unknown, holds it close until the time is right for it to be revealed. How fun is it to wait? I love anticipation, as I have mentioned. I love all that it takes to be ready for the moment. I am not really a procratinator, but prefer to do things as they come up, to take care of business as it arises. This may be why I love anticipation. I do like spontaneity, to be surprised and to be taken off guard. I also love to plan and organize. I know the next few weeks will be filled wit...