Friday at Last?

I struggle with thinking about posting. I have had a tough week, which followed a tough week, so am just feeling kind of empty. The fact that I have developed a head cold probably complicates things a bit too. I find myself having to look at things with a critical eye and put words onto paper that are not my natural way of thinking and it is a tough chore. I am not speaking about this posting, but some other issues I am dealing with. Conflict seems to be surrounding us right now and it creates stress in our environment, that which we choose and work towards keeping peaceful. I am left questioning how we let the stress go. I am not typically one who holds on to stress or worry, they are not natural to me, so perhaps this is why I struggle with dealing with those very things in my life. Maybe I simply don't know what to do with them! My faith is strong and is a place of refuge and I am grateful for that. But there are times when i realize I am only human and can't dp it all, can't change everything to be the way I want it to be. I need to surrender this, to let it go so I can rest in knowing God is sovereign and loves me despite myself. What a promise!
It is the season of Lent. Maybe 'giving it up for Lent' is about 'letting it go for Lent'. As I walk through this time in the wilderness, I know Who I am following and need to trust. Just today, speaking with my man, I spoke out loud the thoughts I have had, those of concern over how my body deals with stress. Last time I had prolonged unavoidable stress, my body allowed cancer to form. This is a fear for me, one I need to surrender as well. I created this very blog to 'count it all joy', to take time to find joy and gratitude in every day, small ways. I know I can continue to take joy in my life, to give thanks- but will that be enough? Trust is big--and it is hard to let go, to surrender and give up all control. In birth, a woman who gives up control is finally able to actually give birth, the labour finishes. That surrender allows her body to take over and do what it is designed to do. I imagine that this is also true in life. I want to surrender, to give up all control and to TRUST.
So, as my weekend begins, my time with family is sweet. I will enjoy seeing my grandson at gymnastics. I will enjoy replaying the 12 year old's excellent basketball game where he scored 4 points. I will take joy in visiting with my daughters. And I will count my husband as my number one blessing. We will continue to have stresses and difficulties. Some of them we can control, others we simply cannot. But this one thing I know, I can count it all joy.
With gratitude~

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