Grateful Heart and Helping Hands

My wee grandson, who also just happens to be my favourite grandson at this point, was looking at my shirt. "Froggies, Nana?" Then, upon closer inspection, "ABCB!!" He is starting to note the printed words, calling it ABCB's. Pretty cute, I tell ya! He came to breakfast a bit cranky today, but left giggling and goofy. He has fun and is such a tease! He is so enjoyable, gives us reasons to be grateful in each and every day. So, Monday is for counting: ~duvets, blessed warmth during a windstorm ~delicious coffee to wake up to ~more babies coming, plans to make, joy in abundance ~tied blankets, the warmth they bring ~two year old artistic renditions of moon and stars ( I love you to the moon and back, as many as the stars...) ~painted handprints (or himps) to remind us of these days, many years from now. ~bundles of laundry, mountains to climb today, telling me we have plenty, even when there is no water to wash them with at home. ~my place of work, where I ...

There is a freight train rushing outside our window. It makes the wind chime dance for joy but perhaps it also creates havoc for anyone even trying to walk out there! We had a chance to get away this weekend, to reconnect, have time alone. While we were away, there was snow, .As soon as we got there, we checked out our room and had time in the hot tub.Our room was called "Silverbirch" and was created by a local artist. Each room there has some local flavour, having been created by local artists to be one of a kind. They are super relaxing, quiet and mostly wood- just beautiful.  Having had no water for most of this last week- and with no end of that in sight- we decided to make the most of the water!  After the hot tub, it was dinner time. Someone comes by the room to invite you personally. We had been given a bottle of champagne which we opened in the hot tub. We took the rest up to our four-course meal.  The lodge had a group of heli-skiers from the States and Germa...

Once again, I remain impressed by the wonderful post at Holy Experience. Her cadence and rhythm fill her words with a magical air that haunts my thought, my heart. Find the link beside this post. Today, my lover and I will go away. We will have about 24 hours just to connect, to reconnect after months of busyness filling our lives. We will go away to a large log lodge an hour away, in a beautiful valley that is surrounded by snow and trees, masked in a forested landscape where there is no phone, no demands, just a perfect place to wander, to snowshoe, to ski, to relax! He is preparing for the biggest comprehensive exam of his life, taking four years of learning and writing it out on paper. His days are filled with teaching, preparation for this work and with exam preparation. His days are long and they are isolated from friends and family. This weekend will be about reconnecting. We will not talk of legal trials, of water pumps, of finances or of pre-teen troubles. We will share each ...

What a weird day! It started out to be one of those days, I guess, one to follow the likes of yesterday. With no water in the house, my husband and the twelve year old went off to the high school after breakfast to shower. Coffee happened today, since I had some cold water in the house, unlike yesterday morning. My coffee maker likes a cold water start! We were really glad to have the coffee and I headed out to work as the morning simmered along. My momma-girl came to the office later in the morning with her lovely son so she could make use of our printer and photocopier and while she worked, we found out we had a really important date. This date was to be at 2 this afternoon and we were to go it alone, without the lovely boy at our side. With the very gracious help of a very gracious friend, off we went to fight battles that we didn't ask for. The battles were fought with valour and courage and we came back to find a very happy wee boy. Arriving home to our water still out, not t...

For days like these, there are sunglasses. For days like these, there are whistles. For days like these, there are big plastic barrels to haul water in...For days like these, there are arms like mine, to hug, to hold, to enjoy and to be blessed! Taking time to reconnect with a long time friend who lives in another town. We got to watch Grade 6/7 basketball and talk about adult children, wedding blessings, grandchildren and the trials and joys of family life. Such a lovely way to spend some time! The drive out in this gloriously sunny day was awesome, with the boys playing quiet car games like I-Spy and joking with one another. Wandering into the school gym that was my husband's first teaching experience brought back memories of my adult children as babies.  Buying groceries at the General Store- yes, a true general store in every sense, with hardware and necessities on one level and groceries on another, with old time service with a smile! This morning we woke up to the news that...

I have been thanking and not keeping count. This is purposeful, as this is not a race or challenge for me, rather a habit I am working to develop. But I like that we can start each week with this lits, these words from a thankful heart. You can follow this link to another list, where this idea was conceived. www.aholyexperience.com On this white and bright morning, I am thankful. ~ happy chatter, a two year old's praise bubbling from perfect lips ~his paintings hanging on kitchen cabinet doors ~music providing a backdrop to our talk ~good coffee, sincere words ~teasing and laughter ~cherry red sweaters ~knowing- KNOWING- I am loved and unique and special ~passing it on ~white fluttering flakes, a light quilt of clean covering the ground ~trees outlined with white, providing fodder for poetry ~the amazing design of the body where a baby grows in mystery and purpose ~wisdom that grows from experience, the Word of God ~a patient God, Who loves me despite myself--and bec...

Momma Bean: I'm so thankful for these moments.

Seems like a theme- sunshine has graced several Saturdays recently! I have spent the day visiting, resting, tidying and cleaning, studying and memorizing. The studying and memorizing part is both a joy and a difficulty- I have not had to study for memory fro quite some time! Most of my learning over the last number of years has been, thankfully, hands on experiential practice! I learn well that way, as do most, I think- and some more than others! But my Lamaze text sits on the table, all 700+ pages, awaiting my eager perusal, my interest and my memory. Have I mentioned what a hit my memory has taken since chemo? I am, to be honest, more than a little concerned about that! My memory for details is not nearly as clear and I forget some really strange and irritatingly important things! But I am going to trust that the information I need to glean from this fascinating reading will stick with me because it so influences my practice as a doula and child birth educator. The purpose of the stu...

It is the end of a week. I know this has not been the most productive week for me, but flu does that! It gives a person an opportunity to just rest and think and contemplate and sometimes, just sometimes, enjoy being served by others.  My honey brought home soup when I asked- he brought home won ton soup because I described the warm slurpy noodles to him. He also brought canned chicken noodle soup, Lipton chicken noodle soup and Knorr-Swiss packaged chicken noodle soup! I just finished the can of soup- and I must say, that was nice! Just what the doctor ordered. Ever wonder where that came from? I am thinking that the common idea that Jewish mothers use chicken noodle soup to fix everything that ails may have had some real merit! It has good broth (which is always good for the soul), the possibility of yummy vegetables (to mend the body) and noodles (for instant, easily digested energy). All packaged together! What could be better than that? i remember when I was first pregnant wit...

I am at home. Thursdays, for those who know me, is my very big work day. But today, I am home. My protesting tummy of Tuesday made it's wishes known and I have been home ever since. A flu seems to be making it's way around and, as I said before, I am not immune! So, I get a quiet house, lots of juice and time to think. I will also spend some time studying my Lamaze Guide. My kitchen needs some serious cleaning too, so if I have some energy waiting to be used, that I shall do! Seems like everyone is feeling either a bit punky or tired or sick--thank goodness for leftovers in the fridge for those who need to eat! So, the thankfulness part. I am thankful! I was thinking about it yesterday, this week last year, I started chemo. I was laid out on the couch, not wanting to eat, feeling super tired and really just lousy. One year later, there is no cancer in my body, I am back to work, have lots of hair (insert sense of humour) and feel almost normal- whatever that is! I caught a flu...

Sitting here contemplating today's posting, feeling a bit punky. I woke up with a definite head cold--but now my tummy is protesting a bit! I hope not--but guess I am prone to things too? At least both of the babies are here! So, yesterday being the day we count love, I read of a really cool idea--take the middle of I Corinthians 13, the part where it talks about what love is and is not--and insert your own name for the word love. A very humbling exercise, I have to say!! Lots of shoulds--but not enough 'dos'. One thing, I have something to work toward! Tonight, the love of our daughter is coming to dinner. I made my daughter's meal suggestion, Enchilada Casserole--and will post the recipe below! I haven't made this in years--and have made a few modifications over time. This will be ready for tonight, but also made enough for two freezer meals, 3 enchiladas each. ENCHILADA CASSEROLE SERVES 8 PLUS 2 MEALS FOR 3 OR 4 FROZEN... 4-6 boneless skinless chicken breasts ...

I love. I am in love. I share love. I love many! A day like Valentines gives us a lovely opportunity to count our love blessings and today I have that chance in a practical way as I look after my #1 Grandson! last night before I went to bed, I put some heart-shaped cling stickers on the kitchen window, to surprise the 12 year old and grandson when they were at the breakfast table. I left love notes for each one here to remind them what makes them special to me- and I know I don't need to remember this on only one day! But it is a great excuse on a day like today! the 12 year old has a class party today- and spent the afternoon yesterday making rice krispie squares with cinnamon hearts in them along with notes to his class mates. On the notes to his class mates, he put some stickers and a note about what makes them special to him, such as 'You are a good friend' or "You have a great sense of humour'. I think it was a nice, positive message exercise in affirmations. ...

I am here, contemplating what silence truly is and what it truly gives us. There is actually no silence in my home, I hear the faint murmurings of music from somewhere, a fan quietly exhausting the bacon smells from the kitchen in harmony. Patterings of busyness from the 12 year old's bedroom, the fridge motor and gusts of wind play along with the computer fan in front of me. But really, this is silence. I have time to contemplate, to think undisturbed. My lovely daughter and her man are home from vacation, from a time away in the sun. They came home to another 'going home' with his grandpa's passing. So sad, yet, somehow, no surprise. Suffering is over, a life well lived. But a man will miss his mentor and friend and solid rock. So today, we grieve with this family. In silence I contemplate the passing of our winter, slowly but surely giving way to spring. We make plans for the coming months, carefully but expectantly. Careful expectance may be how we have come to liv...

Prince Rupert harbour- a place of quiet rest!! I feel like using a different colour and font today. My day of rest seems to be now- enjoying a morning of play and fun with my grandson, coffee with my daughter and now, a quiet home. The man and boy are up the ski hill on a gloriously sunny day. I am tidying a bit, but mostly, just reflecting on my week. I visited a new baby girl this morning, encouraging her momma with her breastfeeding. I had a similar experience yesterday and have been pondering. I have a new great niece that is having a mite of trouble with eating as well, so I have been looking for good info once again, to make sure I am stating facts and not opinions. One thing I know, breast is best and anything else is simply artificial. We do not give a second thought to our puppies or kittens, to our horses or cattle- why would we not trust this with our own clever little human babies? I want to let you know some of the information I keep in my heart while I encourage this natu...

Another life, another blessing. I got home at 3 this morning! I worked at our outreach yesterday and received the call I was waiting for about 3 in the afternoon. After determining that this was indeed the real deal, everything got packed up and moved off to Smithers. I left home at 6 PM after a wonderful dinner by my man. I am so glad I had such a good meal- one of the things I like to remind my mommas is that they need good fuel for the long journey and indeed, last night this was so true! The new life made his way into the world just after midnight, to the delight of mommy, friends, medical staff and of course, me! We got momma all settled in to rest and relax and I made my way home, satisfied and grateful. Sleep was sweet--short, but sweet!! I went out to visit the baby born earlier this week into such different circumstances and once again was struck by the similarities in experience but the vast differences in lives. The first baby's momma said today that having a doula at h...

More of the love of life today. I have found out I will share my passion with a lovely young lady in the spring. She is becoming passionate about so many of the same things as me. Her momma is a wonderful role model, a mother of many with a love of life, a passion for women and their unique role. She is a good friend, one with whom I can talk about the deepest and most intimate topics knowing she understands, that she cares for the friendships of women and in this, models so well for her own daughters as they become women and wives and mothers. Now her daughters are loving life, the process of becoming 'lifegivers' being firmly planted in their hearts and minds. They are worth much more than rubies! And they are being taught how to care for the home, to care for children and elders, to care for husbands, to garden, to cook and clean- we are missing this so much in today's 'too busy' times. I am so blessed to call her friend ! More opportunities in this day included...

Busy day today- with tiredness pervading! I thought I was going to work for an hour or two--and ended up coming home 7 1/2 hours later! But I love what i do, so that part wasn't so bad! We had a wonderful Scotch Broth for dinner, perfect for this winter day. The snow may have quit for a bit, but we have lots of it! I can't even get in my driveway. The soup, or what is left of it, is in several jars bound for the freezer. Even on a busy day like this, I can still enjoy making enough food to put some away. It is one of the days I am glad I can't figure out how to cook for four or five! After yesterday's birthing high, there are two more lovely mommas labouring, ready to make the journey to the new family. Tonight, the miracle will be theirs and life will continue, Lifegivers will be born! In one case, a new grandma will also be made! I have news of new life growing within a friend's deep desire for children- and am continuing to pray that God will bless her with this...

Today is a good day for a birthday. It is indeed, since I know two babies born on this very day! One is my new great niece- very exciting! The other is a wee boy who has joined a wonderful family- one that I had the privilege of serving as a doula. I know I have mentioned just a time or two how remarkable and amazing I think this passion is- well, I guess that would be what makes it a passion! George Strait has a song called "I Saw God Today" and I think that sums it up pretty well. But, as I write this, I am also catching glimpses of a spectacular sunset through the birch and poplar trees, outlining the Seven Sisters peaks. I am surrounded by God's remarkable creation on every side!I am also tired. I am a sort of bone tired right now, fueled by a pretty significant lack of sleep! Fatigue still seems to be part of my life after cancer, meaning largely that I don't have much reserve to draw from when I am out of fuel. When I was a little girl, I remember my mom's o...

Gloriously beautiful outside! Well, a little melty, but glorious, nonetheless! The computer doesn't like the word 'melty'....but I have to say, it is certainly the right word! The husband and 12 year old are on a school ski trip today--and I must way, I am a wee bit jealous! Here I am at home, cleaning, looking through winter-grime on the windows, and realizing today would have been a lovely ski day! At this point, I know I don't have the stamina to put a whole day on the hill- and there is no point spending all that money for a few runs! There is always next year- or the rest of my life!! But today, I have the house to myself. I am cleaning, tidying and re-organizing. I actually do like days like this. I can listen to my own music, not have anyone else to consider when I want to wash the floors or bathroom and take the time I need to do all or any of those things! I have gone through my closet already, sorting through items, washing delicates that need to air dry and m...

Here we are, Friday already! What a week! I can't believe it has been 3 days since I last wrote here! The man and the boy were away and I thought I would accomplish so much here at home- but instead, there was a lot of work and an attempted birth. There goes the whole week! So, you are reading here and there it is- attempted birth! I have been very aware this week of how our bodies are designed. Once again, I prepare my heart and mind for the miracle of birth, if that is even possible. I have contemplated the knitting and crocheting of that little body, the interconnection with it's momma. I have felt joy as I read of others who are taking sweet joy from their own body's knitting! But today, I think of one little momma in particular. I have come to recognize this week how much stress and fatigue play a huge role in our lives. In this case, they seem to be putting a body into early labour! She has lots of intense contractions, they are doing work, but the body is not yet re...

Randy Alcorn ... "The degree of joy rises to the degree of gratitude, and the level of gratitude corresponds to the level of God’s grace experienced in our suffering." Once again, I find myself challenged to put gratitude first. This morning, I had to apologise to someone for my complaining. I do not want to live to complain, live to be negative or be known by that! I was at once aware of how I had said what I had said and quickly asked her to forgive the words! I want to weigh my words carefully, to find out what weight they will carry as they leave my heart and make their way along to another. It has, all in all, been a wonderful day! I was given the immense joy of running our prenatal clinic, spending my day visiting with women who are awaiting their newest family member. I listened as they shared joys, trials, thrills and concerns. Listening with my heart gives me the opportunity to share with my heart. Wisdom, experience put into action, helps with giving someone a sens...