My Mother's Heart
Good Friday. Until today, I had not given a lot of thought to Mary, other than what we read in the Bible. Over this last year, I read a book called "The Red Tent". It is a historically accurate fictional account of women in what would later be known as Israel. The cultural practices were not Christian, rather they were appropriate for the people of that time, even in families of the first Israelites, because women practiced how they had been raised. This book portrays what would later be midwifery in its finest form- that of women teaching the younger women right from birth what their roles in life would be.
As I sat at the piano this morning, during our Good Friday service, I had a dawning for the first time that if I was living in Biblical times, I would be about the age Jesus' mother was when He was crucified. A woman would have been trained from her first menarche how to be a wife and mother, using many of the things she had learned as a child in participation with the women in her family. By the time of this rite of passage, in her early teens, she would have a year of continual preparation for her eventual marriage and then she would begin a family. We never hear of her own mother, rather an older aunt, Elizabeth. When Mary found herself pregnant, knowing she had received this child through the Holy Spirit, she would have been at once excited for this child to come and terrified to be pregnant outside of marriage. I know God gave her confidence in all she was called to be--and He prepared her betrothed, Joseph as well.
So, for me, thinking back to when I was 14 or 15, I wonder how I would have done under those circumstances? I know for sure I would not have been ready to be a mother, never mind a wife! I didn't know and was not prepared in this way, since in my culture one waits much longer than that. I had some skills and abilities, certainly loved children and knew how to care for them, cooked well enough and knew how to clean. My mom did teach me well, even when it may not have seemed so to her at the time! I had my mom, my aunts and grandmothers involved in my life enough to teach me some of what I needed to know. But today, I realized that I would be the age of Mary when Jesus was crucified. I am 49, which is likely to have been her age when He was 33. So, as the passages were being read today, I thought more deeply about how I, as a mother, would feel about watching my own Son crucified. The confusion, the anger, the anguish all too much to bear. Saying good-bye in such a crude and cruel fashion, too much for a mother's heart. And yet, she was obedient, she served Him well to the end. She cared for His friends, spent her time in their company, perhaps to feel some mutual benefit in this time of grief.
Listening to the readings, contemplating the words in the hymns, thinking about this story that is so old, so fresh, so solemn, I for the very first time considered it with my mother's heart. This weekend will be more real to me than before, I will have more time in meditation and consideration, thinking of Jesus not just as the Son of God, as our Saviour, but as Mary's Son. She knew His purpose from the start--but did she? I will think of this and do so in remembrance of Him.
As I sat at the piano this morning, during our Good Friday service, I had a dawning for the first time that if I was living in Biblical times, I would be about the age Jesus' mother was when He was crucified. A woman would have been trained from her first menarche how to be a wife and mother, using many of the things she had learned as a child in participation with the women in her family. By the time of this rite of passage, in her early teens, she would have a year of continual preparation for her eventual marriage and then she would begin a family. We never hear of her own mother, rather an older aunt, Elizabeth. When Mary found herself pregnant, knowing she had received this child through the Holy Spirit, she would have been at once excited for this child to come and terrified to be pregnant outside of marriage. I know God gave her confidence in all she was called to be--and He prepared her betrothed, Joseph as well.
So, for me, thinking back to when I was 14 or 15, I wonder how I would have done under those circumstances? I know for sure I would not have been ready to be a mother, never mind a wife! I didn't know and was not prepared in this way, since in my culture one waits much longer than that. I had some skills and abilities, certainly loved children and knew how to care for them, cooked well enough and knew how to clean. My mom did teach me well, even when it may not have seemed so to her at the time! I had my mom, my aunts and grandmothers involved in my life enough to teach me some of what I needed to know. But today, I realized that I would be the age of Mary when Jesus was crucified. I am 49, which is likely to have been her age when He was 33. So, as the passages were being read today, I thought more deeply about how I, as a mother, would feel about watching my own Son crucified. The confusion, the anger, the anguish all too much to bear. Saying good-bye in such a crude and cruel fashion, too much for a mother's heart. And yet, she was obedient, she served Him well to the end. She cared for His friends, spent her time in their company, perhaps to feel some mutual benefit in this time of grief.
Listening to the readings, contemplating the words in the hymns, thinking about this story that is so old, so fresh, so solemn, I for the very first time considered it with my mother's heart. This weekend will be more real to me than before, I will have more time in meditation and consideration, thinking of Jesus not just as the Son of God, as our Saviour, but as Mary's Son. She knew His purpose from the start--but did she? I will think of this and do so in remembrance of Him.
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