Grateful Heart and Helping Hands

I am doing everything I can not to do the one thing I need to. I hate that! It has been a good and busy day, full of good stuff! The local youth community garden project had a $10 fill-your-bag with produce you pick day! So, for $20, I filled two bags with tomatoes and basil and carrots (tri-coloured!), beets, hot peppers, broccoli and a mid-sized pumpkin. My hands are stained with dirt and it feels so very good! Thing is, I am not usually a procrastinator! I don't like the pressure of deadlines, so I often work at things until they are done, just to have them out of my way. This new turn? I am not liking it so much! I have had a lovely project on my plate since mid-July. Soon after taking it on, we left for a 4 week holiday--and I have just not been able to get it done since! Strange part is, I love the work itself! But I think, at the heart of it, I am scared I will fail, not do a good job or let my mentor down. In thinking that way, I have allowed myself to put this off over a...

Like the new header picture? It was lovely watching my grandson wade in tide pools and enjoy his delight in his findings. While on vacation I bought a book for him called " Down By the Seaweed Cafe". The book takes the same kind of delight a young child would in beach treasures. It encourages the reader to participate in a Seaweed Dance--which of course, is a gentle, lovely swaying! We learned some new things about current by watching seaweed flow. While we were away we spent more time than ever before in our kayaks. There is so much to learn about current, ebb and flow and tide and our own ability to paddle in it. We had adventures, finding beaches and pretty ocean pathways. I found out what happens when I paddle in too close to a back eddy! I ended up facing backward then forward in about 2 seconds--all the while trying to figure out which stroke I was supposed to be employing! Mostly, I think we learned about letting things go. We used less strength when we...

In the world of doulas and childbirth educators, attachment is a very important concept. The significance of attachment is researched and analysed, written about and debated. Over the years I have come to know s much abut attachment theory and its importance on human development and relationships. We all yearn to belong. It is as simple and complex as that! A healthy conception and gestation support good attachment, as does positive birthing outcomes and breastfeeding. All of these are referenced in terms of healthy attachment. We also know that healthy relationships foster healthy attachment. I have shared my passion for all things birth. The more I learn, the more I want to know! In my last post---April 1 2012?!!-- I mentioned being encouraged to become a Birth Doula Trainer. Since that post, I have attended 3 more births, taught twelve more prenatal classes and.....am working on becoming a Birth Doula Trainer! I have jumped through most of the hoops and, as far as I understand, sim...

It has been a long while since I posted. March was a crazy-busy month, loaded!! I taught more classes in that one month than in the last six. But it brought about so many opportunities, so much joy. I have been encouraged to become a doula trainer. I have had a very informative conversation with a gifted author about shared passion. And I have continued to research and read toward what may eventually become a book. In the middle of that month, we took a trip to Vancouver Island. With two of our adult children there, the draw is great. We drove down from the north end, having taken the ferry from Prince Rupert.  The trip down was beautiful  And relaxing! We read, snoozed, watched scenery and planned what our time away would look like We thought about time with our daughter, the bride-to-be and her hunny. We planned some time with our son, the tree planter and hugger and his lady. We wanted to spend time in Victoria, in the Long Beach area and time wit...

I am home for a quick lunch. Yesterday, we had cheesy Roasted Potato Chowder--which is loaded with sweet potatoes, red skinned potatoes and roasted garlic. We decided it would be even better a day later--and truly, it is! The day is bright, cold and lovely. There is a promise that spring may not be far. We had a strange day of snow and hail among sunshine yesterday and woke up to a snow storm with hardly a cloud in the sky today! This would be typical of spring-like weather, so here's hoping! When the day is rushed, it is hard to find time to pray, to keep in touch with God. My reading this morning reminded me how important it is to memorize, so that I can stay in touch and pass it on! Deuteronomy 6: 6-7 These words that I am commanding you today must always be on your minds. Recite them to your children. Talk about them when you are sitting around your house and when you are out and about, when you are lying down and when you are getting up. It makes me think that, n...

I have been offline for a week. No complaints, it is often a bit of a time waster! But I have been contemplating the power of communication during this "time out". I have a friend in Pakistan right now and, with the push of a key or two, we can connect with live feed video-conferencing technology. A bit of a miracle! But the computer is necessary. With the clicking of a few keys, we can stay in touch with hundreds of 'friends' at a time. Communication seems to also be complex. Connecting via written word can cause misunderstanding and hurt, outrage and offence. People draw conclusions from perception, not a favourable way towards relationship building. We need to rely on our knowledge of the person with whom we are communicating, their character and personality, strength of relationship and characterisation of the same. Both through written word and spoken, this holds true. When I practice my craft, my calling, I need to rely on strong communication skills. Understa...

Sorry to those of you who were unable to read yesterday's post. It was largely a tribute to my lover of 30 years. I have changed the background and layout of my blog, so hopefully this fixes the issue. Today, I have the awesome privilege of spending time with my favourite little man. He is 3. He is full of questions and is interested in EVERYTHING! The world is an exciting place and it is a blessing to me to spend time with him. We have played games, matched shapes, counted lots, talked about food choices, gone grocery shopping and even visited a friend. He is a joy to be around. He plays nicely in the living room while I put away groceries, enjoying just being together. A little voice calls, "Nana?? Nana??" "Yes?" " I love you, Nana. I love you bunches and tonnes!" Wouldn't that just melt your heart? Right now, he is scrambling onto my lap, because he is just a little cold. I don't mind sharing my warmth, not one little bit! I hope he is not ...

‎ "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your  name is safe  in their mouth." Billy - age 4 I wonder how true this is? It sounds pretty much true to me! I know that there is nothing more wonderful than hearing my name called from the mouth of My Love. It reaches my heart, melts me just a little. Thinking back over a lifetime, I could say I knew by the tone of voice if someone was calling me from a heart of love or if I was being called out for discipline- know what I mean?  Today, I will be teaching a group of expectant mothers about comfort measures for labour. We will be talking about ways to relax during labour and what it takes to relax. We will also be exploring the purpose of hormones. We have been designed remarkably well for this very job of bearing babies, right down to a spray of hormones, measured in 1/1000th of a ml. That is so tiny, so remarkable, perhaps a miracle. Doctors have tried to create a substitu...

The day is bright and sunny. For February, it holds promise, hope. Every day should hold some promise, some hope! Part of today's hope is for time with a friend tomorrow, enjoying the break in the winter. We will, I am sure, take delight in the brightness, the outdoor gift that we have living in this place. We will see the strength of the mountain, the uniqueness of crystalline snow. The river may have some open spots, showing the deep green coldness below. And the day will hold promise, hope. We have started another busy week. Family has gone home, gone to work and school. Life is back to some form of normal. And I am back to busy, back to work, back to making sure my priorities stay straight. And that is so hard to do! I have been following  A Holy Experience  and have been dared to find joy in every day. Today, the dare was in finding 3 gifts outside, not a difficulty for a day like today! ~gleaming drops of water, shining with sunlight ~ice over gravel, glistening ~b...

Seems as though my posts are getting fewer and farther between. Life is running by at an alarming rate and I am doing my best to keep up. So, for no other reason than simply for the discipline of writing, hello to you! My man asks abut my blog, looking forward to, I think, some glimpse of my life, my thoughts. Something about not being a mind reader, so he uses this method? I am not sure, but nevertheless, I appreciate his encouragement. This last week, I spent most of the week in Vancouver. What an inspiring week! I met with a friend one day and we whiled away hours over lunch and tea, getting to know the heart of one another. Previously, we met in a teacher-student capacity, yet, I think, we knew we would bridge that and make it to friends. I am so glad we have! I am blessed to have many inspiring women in my life. Another friend picked me up at my hotel and we spent a portion of our day together- over lunch, antiques, cranky dogs and good laughs. Again, I find myself so grateful f...

A couple of days ago, I posted all of Psalm 139. Today, I was sent a link that resonates soundly deep within my heart and spirit. We are so fearfully and wonderfully made! This will take about 15 minutes to watch, but please do, it is worth while! Our Master Designer knew these things when He created us--how marvelous, how wonderful! So, without further ado, here it is--enjoy and ponder--and I will be eternally grateful! Annie Murphy Paul speaks on Origins

Sun sitting on the shoulder of the mountain, shadowing pink in the ice mist. A long drive past the thickly crusted winter river, where nutrients lay in wait for the next salmon run. Thoughts dart in and around my head as I prepare to meet with another birthing client. This work, this doula calling, educator and mentor, friendship bond within giving foundation to my raison d'etre. I take time to contemplate how being a doula has impacted me in other aspects of my life and am drawn inexplicably to the thought of aging parents. One who is close to my heart speaks of caring for ill and aging parents, not as if it drains all of her personal and emotional and financial resources, but instead builds them up. She speaks of family bonds, drawing closer and of caring for a toddler aged parent, still considering their dignity and pride in the moment ahead of her own. Esteem and respect colour her choices, beautifully aware of how this will foster the same in her own children as she ages. My ...

The header picture is entirely appropriate. The snow is piled higher and deeper than ever. A breeze has knocked the snow out of the trees, though, and the sun is shining weakly through the clouds above. The mountain top is obscured in the clouds as well, creating a sense of a warm cloud duvet above. Unfortunately, the duvet is not a warm one, rather one of super cold as we plummet past -19C. The breeze is gently strumming in the wind chimes outside my kitchen window and I am sitting at my kitchen table with mukluks on. This is a good place to be with the weather out there. My favourite blog - the one that both convicts and encourages me- has challenged me to add joy to my gratitude. I have enjoyed this, noticing that 'enjoy' encompasses joy. Each day, I find myself become more aware of what I am grateful for and how that in turn promotes joy. Relationships grate less, give more. The little things become the important things. And I notice, with some discomfort, when others I ho...

Why would I have a hard time imagining that I could be someone to look up to? I disappoint myself in so many ways every single day! Today, a friend told me she always wants to sing my praises, that she looks up to me. Really? How terrifying!  We work in the same field and she is one I always think of in terms of excellence. I find that through disappointing myself, I am concerned that someone else who would rely on me would also be sorely disappointed. So much of my life has been spent seeking approval. Not praise, per se, but approval. From very young, I learned that little things would disappoint. I learned that others can set standards for me that I may never be able to attain. I learned that standards can change at a whim, that they are not stagnant but dynamic, depending on mood, expectations, personality and even power. I learned especially not to trust what I believed, that others would and should tell me just what it was I should be doing and being. My adult life has been...

My man enjoys my blogs. I kinda dried up there for a week or so--either not wanting to spend the time on the computer or simply taking a break  pause! The house is nice and quiet, clean and organized. Christmas has passed quietly this year, but we had a few nice opportunities to be in touch with family and friends. The letter I posted for my last posting of 2011 was my first Christmas letter in 3 years. I know I love to hear from folks near and far, so I did send a few letters out to some we have tried to keep in contact with. I am also pretty glad for email, blogs, facebook and other types of social media that give a broader opportunity. But here we are, 4 days into 2012. One of the first questions I hear is, "Did you make any resolutions?" Personally, I am not one for resolutions or another chance to fail at personal discipline. However, I have made some decisions that I hope will impact the future for the better. My future. I weigh more than I have in my life, thanks to ...