Heroes
Why would I have a hard time imagining that I could be someone to look up to? I disappoint myself in so many ways every single day! Today, a friend told me she always wants to sing my praises, that she looks up to me. Really? How terrifying! We work in the same field and she is one I always think of in terms of excellence. I find that through disappointing myself, I am concerned that someone else who would rely on me would also be sorely disappointed.
So much of my life has been spent seeking approval. Not praise, per se, but approval. From very young, I learned that little things would disappoint. I learned that others can set standards for me that I may never be able to attain. I learned that standards can change at a whim, that they are not stagnant but dynamic, depending on mood, expectations, personality and even power. I learned especially not to trust what I believed, that others would and should tell me just what it was I should be doing and being.
My adult life has been spent working hard to dispel much of this. From some, I will simply never have their approval, it is just a fact. From some, they are scared or worried about what others think, so they wield what power they do have over another to feel some control of their own. From some, they don't take the time to know the real me and will continue to hold me up to values that are false and impossible to attain.
So today, from two friends, I receive this encouragement, this valuable gift of words. We never know how we will impact those around us. We often say words without considering their weight. Every day, I try to remind myself to think first, speak second. And what valuable opportunities come from that! I have not attained any great heights with this, I just know I am changing through thinking first with my heart then connecting with kindness. Words hold such power.
In the work that has called me to itself, I have been given a gift. It takes wisdom to use this gift for good, otherwise it is just a sense of power or entitlement. Women come to me for birthing advice, for parenting advice and for advice on choices they need to make. I need, every single day, to allow myself to be a vessel, an instrument of the Holy Spirit, ready for use. In order to be used, readiness and preparation are involved through keeping what some today would term 'grounded'. I would call it immersed. If I am not immersed in Scripture, in my spiritual life, my physical life, my emotional life and my calling all lack for definition. They take a beating!
6-7My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you've been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You're deeply rooted in him. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you've been taught. School's out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving. (Col 2:6,7 Msg)
Speaking directly to me, this passage says to rely on my roots, my good construction! I find this so encouraging. Use what I have been taught, let it spill out.
Hero? That's really not me. I am simply a vessel, an instrument. I love that I have a Master Designer and that He is fully reliable, that I can trust how we have been made for this very thing, in my case, childbirth and all that it has to offer. I don't need approval from others. I have come to realize that from some, it is simply not available and I am fine with that. I know who I am and Whose I am and for that, I am grateful.
So much of my life has been spent seeking approval. Not praise, per se, but approval. From very young, I learned that little things would disappoint. I learned that others can set standards for me that I may never be able to attain. I learned that standards can change at a whim, that they are not stagnant but dynamic, depending on mood, expectations, personality and even power. I learned especially not to trust what I believed, that others would and should tell me just what it was I should be doing and being.
My adult life has been spent working hard to dispel much of this. From some, I will simply never have their approval, it is just a fact. From some, they are scared or worried about what others think, so they wield what power they do have over another to feel some control of their own. From some, they don't take the time to know the real me and will continue to hold me up to values that are false and impossible to attain.
So today, from two friends, I receive this encouragement, this valuable gift of words. We never know how we will impact those around us. We often say words without considering their weight. Every day, I try to remind myself to think first, speak second. And what valuable opportunities come from that! I have not attained any great heights with this, I just know I am changing through thinking first with my heart then connecting with kindness. Words hold such power.
In the work that has called me to itself, I have been given a gift. It takes wisdom to use this gift for good, otherwise it is just a sense of power or entitlement. Women come to me for birthing advice, for parenting advice and for advice on choices they need to make. I need, every single day, to allow myself to be a vessel, an instrument of the Holy Spirit, ready for use. In order to be used, readiness and preparation are involved through keeping what some today would term 'grounded'. I would call it immersed. If I am not immersed in Scripture, in my spiritual life, my physical life, my emotional life and my calling all lack for definition. They take a beating!
6-7My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you've been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You're deeply rooted in him. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you've been taught. School's out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving. (Col 2:6,7 Msg)
Speaking directly to me, this passage says to rely on my roots, my good construction! I find this so encouraging. Use what I have been taught, let it spill out.
Hero? That's really not me. I am simply a vessel, an instrument. I love that I have a Master Designer and that He is fully reliable, that I can trust how we have been made for this very thing, in my case, childbirth and all that it has to offer. I don't need approval from others. I have come to realize that from some, it is simply not available and I am fine with that. I know who I am and Whose I am and for that, I am grateful.
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