Christmas Past
My man enjoys my blogs. I kinda dried up there for a week or so--either not wanting to spend the time on the computer or simply taking a break pause!
The house is nice and quiet, clean and organized. Christmas has passed quietly this year, but we had a few nice opportunities to be in touch with family and friends. The letter I posted for my last posting of 2011 was my first Christmas letter in 3 years. I know I love to hear from folks near and far, so I did send a few letters out to some we have tried to keep in contact with. I am also pretty glad for email, blogs, facebook and other types of social media that give a broader opportunity.
But here we are, 4 days into 2012. One of the first questions I hear is, "Did you make any resolutions?" Personally, I am not one for resolutions or another chance to fail at personal discipline. However, I have made some decisions that I hope will impact the future for the better. My future. I weigh more than I have in my life, thanks to some fantastic post cancer drugs. Since not taking those drugs is not an option, I have decided it is time I make some changes. I have a goal to work toward, the wedding of my lovely daughter. It gives me time to map out my plan, to look at the path, the discipline needed to get there and to decide the best way to surmount obstacles.
Obstacles. I think we are often our own worst enemy. I had a long talk with a lovely friend yesterday. She always challenges me to think, to get to the meat of an issue, to approach from a different angle. I love that! We both struggle with many of the same obstacles- weight, motivation, lack of good planning, putting others first. Why would putting others first be an obstacle? For me, I have been taught since very early on that others come first in my life. This is a good thing! It has defined me for years, helped me find focus for dreams and given me the sense of my calling as a doula. I defer. As a mom, I deferred sleep, exercise, days on the ski hill or hiking, time alone, for what I considered the greater good. I homeschooled my children, wanting them to stay close by and to have every opportunity to pour myself into them, wanting not to waste any time. But in that deferring, I also lost sight of myself to a degree. I used excuses not to take care of me, to take time in the Word for me, to eat well or exercise for me. Spiritual exercise lacks, other disciplines seem to follow. Don't get me wrong, I am not excusing behaviour. More like I am hanging out some dirty laundry!
So, more than resolutions, I think what I want to define in 2012 is discipline. Knowing the plans that are in store for me because I have taken time to listen:
...I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Jer 29:11 (Msg)
God promised this to me--to you, too--and I have a lovely framed print from Christmas that has this on it. It is one of my favourite verses. I think it is a favourite because it really proves God's faithfulness in spite of my own lack. I do have a future that I hope for. It is certainly why I fought back when diagnosed with cancer. I have maintained many of my disciplines created through that journey and know that I have the strength to add more. The pay out is so worth it!
My desire is to add self-discipline to gratitude. Gratitude has been a wonderful pathway so far. I drive on the shoulder from time t time, but am gracious enough with myself to let me correct. I know that is possible with self-discipline. It helps to have friends walk with me, light up the path and point out pitfalls along the way. And for this, I am so very grateful!
The house is nice and quiet, clean and organized. Christmas has passed quietly this year, but we had a few nice opportunities to be in touch with family and friends. The letter I posted for my last posting of 2011 was my first Christmas letter in 3 years. I know I love to hear from folks near and far, so I did send a few letters out to some we have tried to keep in contact with. I am also pretty glad for email, blogs, facebook and other types of social media that give a broader opportunity.
But here we are, 4 days into 2012. One of the first questions I hear is, "Did you make any resolutions?" Personally, I am not one for resolutions or another chance to fail at personal discipline. However, I have made some decisions that I hope will impact the future for the better. My future. I weigh more than I have in my life, thanks to some fantastic post cancer drugs. Since not taking those drugs is not an option, I have decided it is time I make some changes. I have a goal to work toward, the wedding of my lovely daughter. It gives me time to map out my plan, to look at the path, the discipline needed to get there and to decide the best way to surmount obstacles.
Obstacles. I think we are often our own worst enemy. I had a long talk with a lovely friend yesterday. She always challenges me to think, to get to the meat of an issue, to approach from a different angle. I love that! We both struggle with many of the same obstacles- weight, motivation, lack of good planning, putting others first. Why would putting others first be an obstacle? For me, I have been taught since very early on that others come first in my life. This is a good thing! It has defined me for years, helped me find focus for dreams and given me the sense of my calling as a doula. I defer. As a mom, I deferred sleep, exercise, days on the ski hill or hiking, time alone, for what I considered the greater good. I homeschooled my children, wanting them to stay close by and to have every opportunity to pour myself into them, wanting not to waste any time. But in that deferring, I also lost sight of myself to a degree. I used excuses not to take care of me, to take time in the Word for me, to eat well or exercise for me. Spiritual exercise lacks, other disciplines seem to follow. Don't get me wrong, I am not excusing behaviour. More like I am hanging out some dirty laundry!
So, more than resolutions, I think what I want to define in 2012 is discipline. Knowing the plans that are in store for me because I have taken time to listen:
...I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Jer 29:11 (Msg)
God promised this to me--to you, too--and I have a lovely framed print from Christmas that has this on it. It is one of my favourite verses. I think it is a favourite because it really proves God's faithfulness in spite of my own lack. I do have a future that I hope for. It is certainly why I fought back when diagnosed with cancer. I have maintained many of my disciplines created through that journey and know that I have the strength to add more. The pay out is so worth it!
My desire is to add self-discipline to gratitude. Gratitude has been a wonderful pathway so far. I drive on the shoulder from time t time, but am gracious enough with myself to let me correct. I know that is possible with self-discipline. It helps to have friends walk with me, light up the path and point out pitfalls along the way. And for this, I am so very grateful!
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