This Very Day

My posts are getting further apart, some of you may have noticed. I find, even when I try to plan differently, that my time seems to be eaten up with the frivolous and unremarkable. Before you know it, the day is over and I feel left in the dust.
What a difficult week this has been! We have had some tough choices to make, some tough words to say and some decisions that make us profoundly sad. We know it is for the best, but the road on the way is so very hard to continue on!
At the same time, the week has been full of joy! We have had some wonderful events. A grade seven graduation. A band concert. A day full of meetings that left me feeling glad and hopeful!
Best of all, this week had a birthday in it. Twenty five years ago on this day, my world was transformed! I became mother to a daughter! A sister for our son, the oldest girl to 3, my daughter whose name means Pure and Peaceful.

On a Wednesday evening, I made some spaghetti for dinner. As it was nearly ready to serve, I felt some familiar pangs. Knowing that I had work ahead of me, I chose not to eat the dinner I had made, but some food that would be less heavy. The day changed and it was Thursday. All day long, I walked, wandered, rested and wondered. But that day turned into another. Off I went to see my doctor, who noted that I would be a while yet. We waited and on Sunday, our moment had arrived. We went to church in the morning, then stayed in town, going to the hospital in the afternoon. The doctor sat with me, visiting while I rocked, watched some TV, chatted about her growing up in the Maritimes. The day was hot, so very sunny. A picnic was happening outside and people were enjoying the weather. I continued on in my labour of love, allowing my body to do what it was so well designed for. In the evening, the work started to get a bit harder and I moved to the labour room. I was so very hot, working so very hard. The day moved further into evening at this solstice season--so, even though it was still quite light outside, it was fully into night. The day became a brilliant deep pink, some flamingo overtones in the western sky. While that very sky deepened into purple, my beautiful little girl made her way to meet us. When we met her, we knew our hearts had the capacity to love even more. She was a tiny little perfect girl, no stranger at all, but one who was loved from the moment we knew of her. We were so very glad to meet her at last! We snuggled and cuddled all night long, as purple gave way to more pink, lightening eventually into Monday morning. When I finally slept, it was a sweet earned sleep, with my darling daughter in my arms. I could have held her forever!
But she grew. Her life has been filled with sweet memories. She has grown into a beautiful woman, one who is loved greatly and is, to my complete joy, my friend. I love her, miss her every day. And I will never forget the day my world changed. The day I met my first daughter, with love.
And I am so very grateful!