Father's Day

What a week! I think I have experienced every emotion under the sun--and maybe even made up some new ones! I haven't posted since last Monday in the midst of this week and it's busyness. Early in this week, I had some distress, wondering if there were a problem with my lungs. Since my surgery scars healed, I have had a wee bit of pain every time I exert my diaphragm. This pain radiates into my shoulder and scapula and has been a cause for concern. Knowing that lungs can be a problem after breast cancer along with bones, I have had some anxiety around this. But my lovely oncologist has put this to rest, nothing to worry about. Better than that, I will have some help for the discomfort from a physiotherapist who we hope will find the root cause. So, some rollercoaster emotions there. I know I can cast my cares on Jesus, Who cares and carries me through.
We also had the chance to celebrate the up coming marriage of a lovely almost-niece. We shared with her in her shower of blessings and saw many friends that we haven't seen in some time. Taking my sweet grandson with us was so fun--he makes life so much better! It warmed my heart to spend time with beloved sisters, chatting and sharing our seasons together. We laughed and talked and shared and thought and simply celebrated together in this celebration of the love these two have for each other. The thought that strikes me here is even before the world began, He already planned for these two to be joined!
We ended our week with the worst news we have had in a long time. Our lovely grandson is played like a pawn in a horrible debate between adults. The debate, though horrible enough, is exacerbated by horrific lies. I know the fight we are in is not between flesh and blood, but it is a spiritual battle. There is a fine balance between doing what is right for this sweet boy and finding the truth within lies being spread. We have spent our adult lives in the service of others. Our home has been a place of refuge and strength, one where God alone is served. We have maintained peace at all costs, whenever we can. One of my favourite passages in the Bible goes like this:

^9-10Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

 ^11-13Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

 ^14-16Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.

 ^17-19Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it.

We have been lied about, slandered, cursed, even had letters written with these lies in them. Coming from someone who once said she was my friend, this hurts beyond compare! My heart breaks for my daughter who has had to bear up under all of it. But in this broken heart of mine is also the underlying knowledge that God doesn't give us what we can't bear up under. He also only intervenes when we invite Him to do so. As I pray for this situation to change, I know that He loves me so much, He will give me grace to know. He also provides restoration. He is Jehovah Jireh, our provider whose grace is sufficient. I have no deep understanding of grace within my finite self, I can only hope to understand it a wee bit. I also know he is Adonai, translated as mountain. This mountain I look out towards from my home gives strength, the kind of strength spoken of in the Psalms, when David asks where his help comes from. I also think of Psalm 8-

¹ God, brilliant Lord, yours is a household name.

 ² Nursing infants gurgle choruses about you;
      toddlers shout the songs
   That drown out enemy talk,
      and silence atheist babble.

 ^3-4 I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous,
      your handmade sky-jewelry,
   Moon and stars mounted in their settings.
      Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,
   Why do you bother with us?
      Why take a second look our way?

 ^5-8 Yet we've so narrowly missed being gods,
      bright with Eden's dawn light.
   You put us in charge of your handcrafted world,
      repeated to us your Genesis-charge,
   Made us lords of sheep and cattle,
      even animals out in the wild,
   Birds flying and fish swimming,
      whales singing in the ocean deeps.

 ⁹ God, brilliant Lord,
      your name echoes around the world.

Oh Lord, OUR Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!! The earth is filled with YOUR glory. Even in our finite, fallen state, God still gifts us with all He has, all He is! I need to rely on this truth- even when all around me is evil, is filthy. I know Who made me, Who made me and knit me together in my mothers womb. I know Who holds me in the palm of His hand, Who searches me and knows my inmost thoughts. If there is anything I know from this strange week, it is that I can rely on God to know what is right for me- and in this, for my daughter and the well-being of my amazing grandson.

Today it is Father's Day. We are celebrating it with my man. He has earned this place of honour in our family. When we can't trust even those in our home, he still holds and maintains that place of trust and steadfastness. He honours the God he serves by emulating Him and serving Him and honouring Him, a wonderful example to the young men he is raising. He is loved by his children and children that are not his. He has a good reputation based on his word and his name. 

My own dad, same thing. He is a man of honour. He wants to hold fast to righteousness and to honour the God he serves. This example is blessing him from generation to generation. I know this is also true for my own man, my friend, my lover and for him, on this day, I am grateful