Raining on the Inside

My heart is sad. I feel as if I am raining on the inside. Changes are tough to take, perhaps at times unbearable. So much to do, how do you pack 11 1/2 years into a box? Time, memories, relationships, knowing, all packed up. It just can't happen. We can take papers and reports, information and all we know, but we can't package it precisely, can't file it all on a hard drive to reconnect with another family. It just is not possible.
So today, this is not about finding gratitude difficult at all. It is simply that there is unbearable sadness in my heart and I am raining on the inside.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Weekend Wanderings

Sunny Saturday. Saturdays, with habits hard to break, are for cleaning, for renewal. We stayed in bed a little late today but awoke to solid daylight showing a new skiff of snow. Sunshine highlights, a machine to clear the snow, helped along by the shovel. Garbage deleted from the house, bathrooms sparkling, kitchen busy with ideas for meals. I love days like this! Sitting here with some Beethoven in quiet contemplation through new speakers, I take the opportunity to meander through the thoughts I have to share today. My family makes me so proud- in a very humbling kind of way! My adult children are living successful lives, each in a satisfying place or moving toward personal satisfaction through schooling or work. I didn't think much about that when we were raising our kids. We thought about values and chose ones that were important to us, to raise our children by. We chose friends who supported those choices. So much of our time was spent in solidifying those choices, driving th
Read more

Christmas Eve

Wonder. Watching a two year old light up, counting angels and cookies. Seeing the delight in an adult child's eyes when the favourite meal is prepared. Anticipating the joy on faces of family when presents are given and shared, when breakfast is made together, when turkey is ready. Hearing voices of family that is away, long phone calls, cards exchanged and letters read. I have noticed that some of my posts are starting with just a word- and I may just keep this up! It helps me to focus on what to write! Wonder is a lovely feeling, right up there with anticipation. I feel awe when I think of Mary, pregnant and single, traveling on a donkey so far from home, to give birth alone (we assume) in a stable. Giving birth is a sacred time, when women receive the gift of motherhood and join with all women of all time in a sisterhood like no other. But did she have her mother there to support her? A chosen midwife? A best friend? A doula? Or was her husband her only support in a time when t
Read more

Wednesday's Wonder

More of the love of life today. I have found out I will share my passion with a lovely young lady in the spring. She is becoming passionate about so many of the same things as me. Her momma is a wonderful role model, a mother of many with a love of life, a passion for women and their unique role. She is a good friend, one with whom I can talk about the deepest and most intimate topics knowing she understands, that she cares for the friendships of women and in this, models so well for her own daughters as they become women and wives and mothers. Now her daughters are loving life, the process of becoming 'lifegivers' being firmly planted in their hearts and minds. They are worth much more than rubies! And they are being taught how to care for the home, to care for children and elders, to care for husbands, to garden, to cook and clean- we are missing this so much in today's 'too busy' times. I am so blessed to call her friend ! More opportunities in this day included
Read more